Not Sorry for Loving You
by TerraClara
Summary: Tommy and Adam are determined to stay together, whatever comes their way. But with stalkers, muggers, and a psycho ex, can they? And more importantly, will they both even survive? Adommy, violence, m/m. T for a reason.
1. Chapter 1

**The first chapter of my new story! I'll try to upload every couple of days, but no promises. Plus, school starts soon. Ick. Also, I realize the inconsistency in Tommy's personality, but I'm too lazy to fix it. So you'll have to deal.**

Adam Lambert finished up that night's show and walked off stage. He _really_needed to relieve some tension that was still there from Fever. Tommy ran up next to him, basically bouncing with happiness.

"Ya did great tonight, Adam! The crowd loved us! But whyyy didn't you kiss me?" He whined.

"Because," Adam laughed," I didn't want to mess up your pretty lipstick!" He grabbed Tommy's cheek and pinched it.

Tommy scowled. "But-oh, alright. Just-don't DO that anymore!" He said, slapping Adam's hand away playfully. He skipped off, like seriously _skipped_, and Adam chuckled, walking back to the bus. He just was too tired for signing tonight.

Once they got to the hotel, the singer locked himself in the bathroom and fixed his 'problem'. When he was done, he walked out to find Tommy on his bed, reading a children's book, Winnie the Pooh, it looked like.

Adam laughed. "What are you reading, Glitterbaby?"

Tommy looked up, beaming. "Winnie the Pooh! I especially like Tigger. Look, I even have a tattoo!" Tommy pulled up his shirt to reveal a small Tigger tattoo on his left hip.

Adam just shook his head. "It must be hard finding stuff to read that's at your level!"

Tommy nodded enthusiastically before realizing what was said. He frowned. "Heeeey!"

"'Hey' what? Move, I wanna go to sleep now. Goodnight, Tommy Glitterbaby Kitty Joe Ratliff."

Tommy smiled at the added names. "Goodnight, AFL." He said, referring to the nickname the fans gave Adam. He walked out of the small room into his own, the smile dropping off his face as soon as he left.  
Tommy didn't get why Adam didn't know he loved him. Tommy had tried to make it more obvious, leaning against him more, even kissing his ear, cheek, and neck. Heck, he had even bitten his arm, once! But Adam just wouldn't realize. Tommy didn't know what to do next. So, he went to bed. His eyes soon slid shut, and he drifted off.

Tommy awoke in the morning to a bacon-and-egg smell in the air. He smiled, getting up and walking into the small kitchenette/family room that connected the two bedrooms. Adam was cooking, as usual.

"Morning, Babyboy."

Adam turning to smile at Tommy, his eyes widening fractionally before he turned back to the frying pan and said," Are you just gonna wear that all day?" He smirked, his eyes everywhere but Tommy.

The blonde glanced down, blushing when he noticed all he had on was a pair of green boxers.

"Um-I'm gonna go change!" Tommy raced off toward his room at full speed, leaving Adam with a nice view of his retreating backside.

Tommy closed the door quickly, breathing heavily and leaning on it in exhaustion. He moved to the bed, pulling out a drawer of skinny jeans and long-sleeve button-down shirts. He picked a simple soft purple shirt and black skinnies, donning them speedily and leaving his room for the second time. He stealthy crept up behind Adam and threw his arms around his neck, growling. Adam laughed, turning around and pulling Tommy's arms off gently.

"Hi again. Ready for breakfast?"

Tommy grinned. "You have tacos?"

Adam shook his head slowly. "Um... no. Sorry."

Tommy frowned. "Eggs?"

Adam nodded, placing some scrambled eggs on a plate and handing them to the bouncy blonde.

xxxxx

After breakfast, Adam went to get ready for that night's show, and Tommy followed his lead. He basically did everything the same as last night, but left out the lipstick, instead opting for a light gloss. Maybe Adam would get the hint. When Tommy walked out of the small dressing room, he was surprised to see Adam waiting outside.

"I have something to give to you, Tommy." He gently pushed the confused blonde back inside the room.

"Adam, what-"

"Shhh." Adam smiled softly, his eyes hiding a tinge of sadness. He leaned forward, catching Tommy in a small kiss. "For good luck," He said when he pulled away, much too soon in Tommy's opinion. But by the time he had unfrozen himself, Adam had gone. Tommy sighed.

xxxxxx

Adam waited behind the stairs for the music of _Voodoo_ to start, stepping up to the platform and grinning. He sang through the first song, his only slip-up being a look at Tommy after _now I'm lost in a love hangover_. During _Down The Rabbit Hole_, he put his arm around Tommy, as usual, but this time, he discretely rubbed against him, grinning when he responded.

He performed _Ring of Fire_, and then it was _Fever_ time. Adam walked sexily down the steps, throwing his arm around Tommy's shoulders and smirking when he felt Tommy grab hold of his shirt. He played with the blonde's hair a little, and then finished up the line and looked meaningfully at the smaller man.  
Adam leaned forward, catching Tommy in a small kiss. Tommy responded, though, and soon Adam was nibbling on Tommy's lip to gain entrance. But before he could, Adam heard the notes right in front of his next line. He sighed, licked his Glitterbaby's cheek, and continued singing.

xxxxx

Tommy had been almost positive Adam had feelings for him after that kiss. But he was strangely indifferent the rest of the concert, only remarking how pretty Tommy was during the band introductions. So now, Tommy was royally confused. Did Adam like (or even love) him? Or was it all in the spirit of rock 'n roll? Tommy supposed he would ask later, when they were alone on the bus. Well, Monte would be just a sliding wooden door away, but he was a deep sleeper. Tommy and Adam shared a bunk bed.

Adam finished up the last notes of _Whole Lotta Love_ and Tommy barely remembered to bow. Adam thanked the crowd and walked off stage, the rest of the band quick to follow. Tommy was last, as usual, and he smiled when he heard a couple girls screaming that they loved the kiss. The blonde jogged up to Adam, slowing down next to him. He jumped and glared at Adam when he spanked him, blushing at all the screams. Adam just laughed and continued walking.

They walked to their shared bunk bed in companionable silence, Tommy only speaking when the sliding door was securely shut.

"What-what _was _that? That kiss, I mean..." He stumbled over his words, blushing again and hiding behind his hair.

"It was a kiss. Just a kiss." Adam sounded unsure, but Tommy didn't notice.

"Oh. Alright." Tommy replied, a little depressed.

"Unless- you _want_ it to be more...?"

Tommy's head shot up. "Yes. I would like that very much." Adam grinned and stood, walking quickly toward Tommy and sweeping him into a bruising kiss. When they stopped for air, Tommy wrapped his arms around Adam's neck and leaned his head on the brunette's chest.

"I love you," He whispered softly.

Adam stiffened. The last time he had heard that was from Drake, before he had dumped him for someone he had been having an affair with for three months. Adam wasn't ready for that kind of commitment. So he pulled away harshly, turning and running into the shared bathroom. Tommy reached after him, a lost expression on his face.

"No." He whispered. He had ruined it again. Just when they were getting closer, he _had_ to go and force Adam into a relationship. _No._

Tommy opened the sliding door, slipping into Monte's small room and waiting until he looked up from his guitar and noticed him.

"Oh, hey, man. What's-" Monte must've noticed the tears that were now running freely off Tommy's cheeks, because he put his guitar away and patted the spot next to him. Tommy walked over and sat, sobbing quietly. Monte spoke.

"Hey, you know I'm not good with this stuff, but I can clobber whoever did this to you. You're like a little brother, man. So, who do I need to beat up?"

Tommy shook his head slowly, his face in his hands. "I-I don't want... Don't hurt him... It's my fault-Adam..."

Tommy felt Monte's surprise. "What? So you two were like, together? But you're straight, dude?" The last sentence came out more like a question.

Tommy hiccupped. "I-we kissed... I told him I-I... l-loved him-He ran into the bathroom... I've ruined everything!" His sobs came harder.

Monte sighed. "So, lemme get this straight. You... love Adam, since-"

"Before the AMAs."

"Right. Since before the AMAs. You two recently kissed, he told him you loved him, he ran away. Seems like he's just unsure, maybe afraid of commitment... You know his last boyfriend, Drake, dumped him for a mistress, so to speak? That could be why. I don't doubt he loves you, too, dude. I've seen the way he looks at you."

"R-really?" Tommy looked up.

"Yeah, Thomas." Tommy half-smiled at Monte's use of his full name. He stood, thanking Monte and walking to the bathroom door, which was still locked tight. He rapped on it once, twice, three times before stepping back and waiting. The door slowly creaked open, and Adam's makeup-smeared face appeared.

"W-what? What do you want?"

Tommy cleared his throat. "Adam, I know I might be too late in saying this, but I am so, so sorry. For stealing your taco last week. For refusing to believe I was gay until two weeks ago. For not telling you sooner. But the one thing I am not sorry for is loving you." Adam winced, not going unnoticed by Tommy.

"Adam, meeting you was the best thing that had ever happened to me. Falling in love with you was better.

"I know that because of that bastard Drake you're afraid of commitment. And I understand. But Adam, I hope you can see past that, and know that I love you so much that it physically hurts.\

"Now, before we both melt into piles of mushy words, please come out of there."  
Adam blinked once and slowly opened the door. His eyeliner was a mess, dried on his cheeks in streaks, his hair completely destroyed, though Tommy thought that was probably the earlier kiss's fault.

"Oh, god, Tommy, I'm sorry! I'm just- I don't- I freaked. I'm so sorry!" Adam sunk down to the floor and dropped his head in his hands, sobbing heavily. Tommy followed him, crying again as well.

"No, shhh, it's not your fault. It's all mine." Tommy circled Adam with his arms, rubbing his back. "We're a mess, aren't we?" He laughed once, humorlessly. Adam picked his black-haired head up, staring at Tommy with wet eyes.

"Yeah. And-and Tommy? I-I think I l-love you, too." Tommy looked at Adam, beaming.

"Good. Because I don't know how I would have lasted without you. I love you, Adam." Adam smiled slightly and leaned to kiss Tommy chastely. There was a knock at the door.

"Lemme in!"


	2. Chapter 2

**The second chapter of NSFLY is here! I apologize for its shortness, and I know it's super boring. Sorry. :P**

"Come-come in." Adam said, just loud enough to be heard. Tommy glanced at Adam, neither wanting to pull apart. So when Camilla opened the door, she was greeted by two teary, hugging men with destroyed makeup, on the floor. Her eyebrows creased.

"What-"

Adam interrupted her. "We were just... um, talking. About... touchy stuff."

"Oh, Ok. Just wanted to tell you guys that the concert starts in," She checked her phone, "An hour." She turned and left, presumably to get ready.

Adam cursed. "Hurry! We have to get prettied up!" He stood, running into the bathroom behind him. Tommy chuckled.

"It doesn't take everyone an hour to get ready. Just you."

Adam grumbled something unintelligible and hurriedly pulled out his pounds of makeup. Tommy shook his head and walked to his closet, choosing a plain grey T-shirt, striped hoodie, and black skinnies. He changed quickly and pulled on his favorite pair of shoes: his creepers. Tommy wouldn't admit this to anyone, but one of the reasons he liked them so much was because they brought him closer to Adam's face, and therefore his lips.

Tommy snuck into the bathroom and jumped on Adam, hugging him from behind. Two words seemed to echo in his mind. _His lips. _

"Oh, hey, Glitterbaby!" Adam smiled and surprised Tommy by grabbing his thighs and pulling the small blonde up into a piggyback sort of position.

_His lips._

Tommy squeaked, before recovering and burying his face in Adam's neck, planting soft kisses everywhere he could reach.

_His lips._

Adam laughed, leaving the bathroom with Tommy still held up on his back. He walked into the bus' family room and dropped Tommy heavily on the couch, turning around and lightly laying on top of him. 

"A-Adam?" Tommy asked tentatively. 

Adam answered in between kisses.

"What-" _Kiss._ "Is it-" _Kiss._ "Glitterbaby?" _Kiss._

Tommy looked nervous, blushing as he spoke. "Well, um, I-I don't know if-if I'm... ready for... this yet." He hid behind his hair, a new habit.

Adam pulled himself off Tommy and sat on the couch. "Why not?" Tommy took a moment to reply.

"Well we just found out that we loved each other, and I didn't even know I was _gay _until a couple weeks ago. I don't know- I think we're rushing into things. I'm-I'm sorry." He trailed off, still not looking at Adam.

The raven-haired man gently lifted Tommy's chin up, lightly kissing him on the nose, and smiling softly. He nodded once, and reassured Tommy that it was all good. The sweet moment was interrupted by a high-pitched beeping.

"Oh, crap! We're late!" Adam flew into motion, putting his socks and shoes on and grabbing Tommy's hand, pulling him out the door of the bus. Tommy let himself be dragged to the limo and basically thrown inside like a doll. Adam jumped in and slammed the door shut, the car speeding off.

Monte looked at Adam in displeasure. "Dude. We were almost late. Does it really take _that_ long to get ready? We've been waiting here for at least 20 minutes!" He glared at Adam, and then Tommy, who shrank down in his seat. Adam looked at the smaller man, their eyes meeting. Tommy understood what the singer was asking, and nodded once.

Adam cleared his throat. "Um, guys?" He waited until the three other band members had ceased conversation. "I have something to tell you. Tommy and I-"

"We're here," The driver announced, cutting Adam off.

"Can you wait until later to tell us, Adam?" Cam asked.

"Uh, s-sure...?" Cam grinned, and climbed out of the backseat, followed by Monte and Longineu. Adam sighed and squeezed Tommy's hand, before getting out of the limo. Flashbulbs pounded Adam's eyes and overpowered his senses.

_"I guess I'll never really get used to being famous,"_ He thought, walking slowly down the roped-off walkway, signing autographs.

"Adam! Adam! Can you sign my back? I'm gonna have it tattooed!" One fan screamed. Adam chuckled and walked over to him, scribbling his signature onto the man's back. But when the man turned around, Adam froze.

The 'fan' had short, brown hair and a scruffy face. He was quite a bit shorter than Adam, maybe a little taller than Tommy. His chocolate brown eyes gleamed almost sinisterly.

"Hello, Adam." And that's when everything went black.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter three! I actually like this one more than the last, because of the action!. :)  
Um, also, I realize Tommy pauses and stutters way more than is normal, in all three chapters. So, I apologize for that. I-I kinda tried to... recreate human... speech. :)  
Oh, and I'm thinking about doing a sequel to **_**Please, Draco**_**. What do y'all think? **

Tommy was signing autographs when he heard a thud and screams. He whirled around, gasping loudly at the sight of Adam crumpled on the ground, an unfamiliar man staring at him with a barely-there smile. Tommy ran to Adam, kneeling and yelling for help.

_"No, nononono!" _Tommy rolled Adam's unconscious body into his lap, giving the man above him a teary death glare.

"Who are you, and what did you do to Adam?"(1) Tommy nearly screamed with anger.

The man replied coolly. "I am Adam's boyfriend. I suppose he was just... surprised to see me. As soon as he wakes up, he'll be coming with me."

"No way in hell is he going anywhere with you! Get the hell out of here!" Tommy stood, his hands in fists at his side.

"Perhaps we'll let him make that decision. I'm sure he would much rather be with someone he loves than his sex toy."

Tommy saw red, and would have gone after the man, who was still standing there calmly, if Monte hadn't grabbed his shoulders and restrained him.

"Tommy! Tommy, calm down! He couldn't have said anything that bad!" 

Tears were streaming down the blonde's face. "He-he called me a-a... sex toy." Monte gasped, and later he wouldn't know if he had let Tommy go on purpose or not. Either way, his hands relaxed, and the small bassist flew at the mysterious man, punching him harder than he had ever punched anyone. The man's nose poured blood, but he seemed not to even notice as he hit Tommy so forcefully in the side of the head that the smaller man was knocked down. The brunette kicked him, first in the ribs, and then the jaw. 

"This isn't the last time you'll hear from me."(2) The man stepped back and ran, clutching his broken nose.

Tommy coughed, the movement sending a blinding pain through his ribs. Broken, then. Monte knelt next to him and handed him a wad of tissues, courtesy of Cam, who was keeping a worried watch on Adam. Longineu spoke to the guards, and soon everyone was ushered away.

"Is-is Adam... Ok?" Tommy asked weakly, still holding his ribs and bloodied head.

Monte nodded. "He'll be fine. It's you we have to worry about! You could have been seriously hurt! What the _hell_ were you thinking?"

Tommy frowned. "I-I guess I wasn't. But-" He broke off, addressing the whole group. "Guys, I think I should explain." Cam nodded, and Longineu voiced his agreement. Monte just smiled humorlessly.

"Guys, Adam and I are... dating. That-that man said that he... was Adam's boyfriend. He-he called me a," Tommy grew softer, "A sex toy." His voice regained strength. "And that's why I-I punched him. I think that should... bring you up-to-date..."

Cam spoke first. "So... that's why you were hugging this morning?" Tommy nodded.

"Dude, that guy was like, twice your size. Why'd you go after 'im?" Longineu asked.

"I don't really know. But- I got his nose..." Tommy trailed off.

Monte spoke next. "I think I speak for all of us when I say I'm happy for you and Adam. Just don't expect to top, man." Tommy turned beet red and hid behind his bloodied hair.

"Monte!" Cam scolded.

They were saved from any more awkward conversation by a stirring where Adam lay. A groan sounded from the mass of limbs, and Adam unfolded himself. The black-haired male rolled over and, seeing his three friends looking at him worriedly and his boyfriend curled up and bloody, with a big bruise forming on his jaw, immediately remembered what happened.

He paled. "Oh-oh my god. Is-is he gone?" Cam nodded. Adam stood and wobbled over to Tommy, sitting and pulling him into his lap and cradling him against his chest.

"What happened?" He whispered into Tommy's ear.

"After you fainted, I went and talked to him. He said- he said he was your... boyfriend, and he called me your-your sex toy." Tommy's sobs started anew, his shoulders shaking with the force of them.

The blonde felt Adam stiffen against(3) him. "That _bastard_! But- how did you hurt yourself?"

"I punched him. And- he punched back. And kicked me in the jaw and ribs. I think a couple are broken."

Adam gasped. "Oh, Glitterbaby! We have to get you to a hospital!" He stood and pulled Tommy up carefully.

"Oh, Adam? They know." Tommy said, gesturing to the rest of the band. Adam nodded and picked Tommy up bridal-style. Tommy smiled weakly at Adam, and his eyes closed, fainting from the pain. Adam yelled, and moved as quickly as he could to the limo. He placed Tommy on one seat and climbed in across from his Glitterbaby, motioning to the others to hurry up.

"The closest hospital, and hurry." Adam spoke to the driver.

They pulled up to the USC University Hospital ER(4) parking lot within five minutes, and Adam jumped out and picked Tommy back up. He burst into the building and walked to the front desk.

"Name?" The fake blonde behind the table didn't even look up.

"Adam Lambert, but the hurt one is Tommy Ratliff." That got the girl to look up. She stuttered, but regained her composure and asked what his symptoms were.

"Injured head and jaw, possibly a couple broken ribs. And, if you couldn't tell, he's unconscious." Adam knew he was being a little bit rude, but he was panicking.

"Alright. The doctor will see him now. You may stay in our waiting room," She paused, "Unless... you'd like a private one?" Adam nodded.

"That would be great." A nurse wheeled out a bed for Tommy, and Adam placed him on it, kissing the blonde's blood-covered forehead when no one was looking. Adam's jaw tightened as Tommy was taken away, and somehow kept his cool until they got to the small, but thankfully empty, room. The singer collapsed in a plastic flimsy-looking chair and dropped his head in his hands, sobbing. Camilla sat down next to him, rubbing circles on his heaving back.

"Oh god, it's all my fault! If I hadn't fainted-" Adam broke off, a huge sob wracking through his body.

Cam shushed him. "No, it isn't. You didn't faint on purpose. And you couldn't have done anything about what happened, anyway! Tommy's a live wire, you know that."

A knock on the door startled Adam into looking up. He wiped his face with more tissues (who knew where Camilla got them all), and took a deep breath.

"Come in." A tall man in white scrubs opened the door and stepped inside, closing it behind him.

"Mr. Ratliff is doing fine. He has a minor concussion, bruised jaw, scraped knuckles, and two broken ribs. He'll recover perfectly." The doctor paused. "He wants to see you." Adam stood, relieved, and a nurse walked him to the room.

He entered quietly, his hands trembling at the sight of Tommy. His beautiful blonde hair was covered with gauze, his right hand wrapped as well. A dark purple bruise sat on his slim jaw.

"Hey," He said quietly. Adam smiled and returned the greeting.

"Oh, Tommy, I was so worried about you! You could have been seriously injured!"

Tommy sighed. "I wasn't thinking. All I knew was that man had caused you to faint." He hesitated. "Adam? Do you love me?"

"Of course! Why would you think otherwise?"

Tommy's eyebrows crinkled. "That-that man... he said you loved him, not me. I-I know it's stupid..." The blonde looked down, tears pooling in his eyes. "Adam? Who _was_ that, even?"

Adam clasped his hands in his lap. "That... was Drake."

**A/N:  
1: Yeah. I know it's way overused.  
2: Same as 1.  
3: I was going to say "under him", but I thought that might be taken the wrong way...  
4: I actually did research! I figured it would be more likely that they'd encounter Drake in LA, so that's where they are.**


	4. Chapter 4

**The next installment!**

**TJGlambert28: Thank you so much! This is now for you. :)**

Tommy was a little nervous. He was getting ready for his first real date with Adam. His head had just finished healing, he wouldn't go out with the gauze anyway, and all that was left of proof of Drake's visit was the still-purple bruise on Tommy's abdomen, where two ribs had been cracked.

Tommy remembered the night one and a half weeks ago vividly. He and Adam were getting worried, though. There hadn't yet been a sign from Drake.

Tommy shook off the memories and finished getting ready. They were currently in Springfield, and they had a day off, with the concert tomorrow. Tommy decided on a plain grey shirt and his favorite black skinny jeans, and some converse. He stood from his bed and knocked on the door connecting his and Adam's hotel rooms. A "Come in!" was voiced from within, and Tommy opened the door, greeting Adam with a light hug due to his ribs.

Adam kissed Tommy's nose. "Ready?" The blonde nodded. They walked out of the four-star hotel in companionable silence, the drive to the restaurant only punctuated by small talk on the weather and such. Adam parked in the lot and turned off the engine. The singer took Tommy's hand and led him inside.

"Hi, we have reservations for Lambert at 7:00." The hostess looked up, smiling.

"Right this way." She led them to a dimly-lit table in the back, exactly where Adam had requested. Their waiter was a tall, muscular man who said his name was Jim. Tommy got the creeps from him, so Adam ordered their food and two glasses of wine.

"Thank you for this, Adam," Tommy said gratefully. "I really needed to get out."

"My pleasure. Plus, what kind of couple is dating for a week and a half and hasn't even gone on a date yet?"

Tommy laughed. "Us, apparently."

The waiter brought their meal, Chicken Cordon Bleu, and the table was silent for a while. When they were finished, Adam paid the bill and they left.

The pair was walking back to Adam's car when a gust of wind picked up and blew Adam's hat into an alley to their left. Adam sighed.

"One second. Lemme get my hat."

"I can get it. You go on to the car." Tommy smiled.

"Alright. Thank you." Tommy nodded and set off into the smelly alleyway, nearly tripping on garbage twice.

Tommy spotted the shape of the hat in the dim light, and walked forward to pick it up. A booted foot came down on it, though. Tommy stopped short and looked up. The large shape of a man much bigger than him loomed up out of the darkness. Tommy backed away slowly, picking up speed when the man followed him. The terrified blonde could see the moonlight glinting off the man's teeth, bared back in a smile, although Tommy knew it wasn't a happy one.

"Hello. Could you give me everything you have?" The man's voice was familiar to Tommy.

_Jim._

Remembering how strong he looked, Tommy was ready to comply. But the heavy weight of Adam's necklace against his chest convinced him otherwise.

"No." Tommy was surprised at how steadily his voice came out.

"You'll regret that." Jim flew at Tommy, pinning him on the wall he had somehow backed up to. He dug into Tommy's pocket, grabbing his wallet with a meaty hand, while his other still held Tommy barely on the ground. The hand wandered, reaching into his other pocket, then brushing across his groin. Tommy's eyes widened. So money wasn't the only thing Jim was after. Tommy yelled, struggling to no avail. Jim's fist appeared on the side of Tommy's face, the blow forcing his head to the side. He could taste the salty blood dripping into his grimacing mouth.

Tommy managed to get a knee up and got the man in the stomach, but he paid no notice as he punched Tommy again, this time in the stomach, knocking the air out of him, but mercifully missing the older bruise. Jim reached his hand up underneath Tommy's now-bloodied shirt, trailing across his nipples. The blonde squirmed again, crying out. The man slammed his mouth to Tommy's, biting his lower lip and taking advantage of the smaller male's gasp, slipping his tongue inside. Tommy, reflexively, bit down, Jim's blood leaving an acrid taste in his mouth. The larger man recoiled, his eyes narrowing.

"Bad idea." He punched Tommy in the stomach repeatedly, his other hand against Tommy's throat, pressing just hard enough to keep him there. Jim kneed Tommy in the crotch, laughing at his small scream.

Tommy's body burned with pain, and he just wanted to give up.

_"No. Adam needs me. I've got to keep going."_ Jim slapped Tommy on the cheek.

"Look at me, bitch," He snarled, inches away from Tommy's face. The blonde turned his head with effort, staring right into the large man's eyes.

Jim crept his hand into Tommy's jeans, never taking his eyes off him.

"Tommy? Are you alright?" Adam's voice sounded down the alley. Jim growled quietly, ripping his hand out of Tommy's pants and the necklace off his chest. The large man disappeared down the alleyway. Tommy crumpled to the ground, Jim's hand being the only thing holding him up. He coughed weakly, the footsteps growing nearer.

"Tommy? Oh my god!" Adam ran and fell at Tommy's side, pulling him up against the wall. "What the hell happened?"

Tommy looked at Adam with wavering vision. "J-Jim... the waiter... Mugged me... tried... rape. Your-your necklace... I'm so sorry, I-I couldn't... hold on t-to it..." Tommy passed out for the second time in not even two weeks.

"No, it doesn't matter. It's okay." Tears streamed down Adam's cheeks as his picked up his Glitterbaby, the position too fresh in his memory. Why did this always happen to poor Tommy? Adam ran to his car, setting Tommy in the backseat and calling ahead to the hospital.

"Hello? Yes, I'm bringing a patient in... yes, it's an emergency... he was mugged and nearly raped... I'm not sure of his symptoms... no, he's passed out, I'm on my way... Ok, thank you. Goodbye." Adam hung up his phone with shaking hands. His knuckles whitened on the steering wheel when he heard a soft moan come from the backseat.

"Hang on, Tommy, we're almost there. Almost there." He repeated the last words like a mantra, reassuring himself more than Tommy.

A stretcher was waiting with a team of nurses in the frigid night air. Adam set Tommy carefully on it and followed the nurses closely. They ran to a small room, where one hooked the small blonde up to an IV and the other brought out Neosporin and bandages. Adam collapsed in a chair, his head in his hands.

"Sir, has this man been taking drugs? We found a puncture mark on his arm," The nurse put her hand on Adam's back.

Adam's eyes widened, before he remembered the IV the week before. "No, he was in the hospital a week and a half ago. No drugs." Adam looked the nurse in the eyes. She nodded, and continued to check up Tommy. One woman handed him a clipboard with paperwork to fill out.

**Name?** _Thomas Joe Ratliff_

**Sex? **_Male_

**Birthday in **_**MM/DD/YY**_** format? **_10/18/81_

**Sexual Orientation? **_Doesn't matter._

The questions went on like this for a page and a half. Finally, Adam was done, and when he looked up, he realized the nurses were gone, and just one man in an official-looking lab coat was standing over Tommy.

"He'll recover nicely. He's got nine good-sized bruises on his stomach, and one on his face. Also, it looks like there was moderate trauma on the left side of his head, overlapping the scabs that were already there. It seems as though he passed out from stress. Would you like to tell me what happened?"

Adam spoke softly. "He-he said he was m-mugged and nearly... raped. The guy was our... waiter from dinner... I lost my- hat in some wind, and T-Tommy offered to get it for me. I was in th-the car, but he was... taking too long, I thought, so I went to make sure he was... o-okay. When I found him, he-he was barely conscious." Tears trickled down Adam's already-stained cheeks.

The doctor nodded. "There's a police officer here who would like to talk to you. She's right outside." Adam thanked the doctor and walked out, leaving the clipboard on the seat and trailing a worried glance at Tommy.

The officer was a nice-looking woman with smile-lines and graying hair. "Mr. Lambert, correct?"

"Please, just call me Adam."

"Okay, Adam. Could you tell me what you know?"

Adam told the painful story to the officer, his hands shaking by the end of it. The woman noticed, and her eyebrows creased.

"What is your relation to Mr. Ratliff?" Ah, the moment of truth.

"We're... dating." The woman nodded, and smiled.

"Why do you look so nervous? It's nothing to be ashamed of, Hon." Adam smiled softly.

"I'm not ashamed. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me." The officer smiled.

"Well, it seems as though I'm all done here. Now to report it in to the boss." She sighed. "Good luck." The woman turned and walked down the hall, and Adam stepped back into the room. The doctor was just finishing writing something down. He looked up and smiled.

"Mr. Ratliff is waking up." He too walked out of the room and down the hall. Adam's attention was drawn to a stirring in the bed. Tommy's eyes fluttered open. He smiled faintly at Adam, reaching his hand up. Adam stepped forward and took it, beaming down at Tommy.  
"From now on, I'm never letting you out of my sight, Glitterbaby." Tommy laughed quietly.  
"And you, me."

**I feel like a terrible person for making Tommy keep getting hurt. :P But anyway, I'm trying a new format. 'Ya like? :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Y'all are going to hate me for this chapter... I promise: it gets better.  
Oh, um, since I forgot a disclaimer, here ya go:**

**Tommy's lips are black,  
Adam's eyes are blue.  
I don't own them, and neither do you!  
(Unless you're Sony, and then I apologize.)**

**Also, this chapter is more graphic than the others, with the exception of chapter 4. I can't decide whether to keep it at T or up it to M. Opinions?**

"Tommy, honey? You in there?" Adam called through the door of the blonde's hotel room. The smaller man sighed.

"Yes, Adam! Just like I was ten minutes ago!" The singer was so overprotective of the blonde that it was just plain annoying. At first it was cute, seeing Adam's scrunched-up worried face staring at him every time he turned. Tommy supposed he had reason, in the beginning. But now it was getting ridiculous. Adam wouldn't even let him have his own _dressing room_!

_"I've _got_ to end this hysteria!"_ Tommy finished putting powder on his face and taking his two daily Advil. With his bass pressed up against the still-painful bruises from three days ago, if he didn't have his pain medication... he didn't even want to think about it.

Tommy opened the door, his heart jumping in surprise at Adam standing right outside.

"Adam! You nearly gave me a heart attack!" Adam frowned.

"It's not my fault you decided to come out without telling me." Tommy just gave him a look and started walking down the narrow, dark hallway. Adam jogged up to him, stopping in front of him.

"What, no kiss?" Tommy tried to go around the singer, to no avail. Adam was blocking the entire hallway. The blonde sighed for the second time. He leaned up and kissed the raven-haired man quickly on the lips.

"Better?" Adam frowned.

"What is up with you, Glitterbaby? You've-"

"Don't call me that! It's a _stupid_ nickname! And ever since I started dating you, nothing but bad has happened! I don't want to be with you anymore! Just leave me alone! I don't want to see your stupid face again, Adam!" Tommy pushed past the stunned male and ran down the stairs, not wanting to even wait for the elevator.

Once he was in the stairwell, however, his rough demeanor vanished, and he broke into sobs. His shoulders shook so badly that he sunk down against the wall.

_"What have I done?"_ All Tommy could see when his eyes closed was Adam's stunned and hurt face, an expression the blonde had never wanted to see on his boyfriend's -ex, he reminded himself, although that just made him cry harder- face. And he had caused it.

Footsteps echoed through the stairwell, but Tommy ignored them, barely even noticing over the loud sound of his own sobs.

"Hello? Who's that?" Monte's voice called out. Tommy just kept crying, not wanting to talk to the guitarist at that moment.

"Tommy? Dude, why are you crying?" Monte had reached Tommy's collapsing spot, sitting on the stair next to him.

"I-I snapped... I yelled at-at Adam... I t-told him I... I never wanted to-to see him a-again!" Tommy's pain echoed off the whitewash walls and screamed back at him, amplified.

"Tommy, I think you're stressed from the tour, and we've all noticed Adam following you around like a lost puppy. Were you annoyed at him? Anyone would be, after that."

"Y-yeah, but I still love him!" Tommy sniffled, wiping his face on the back of his sleeve. Monte made an expression of sympathy.

"Well, I think you should go apologize."

Tommy nodded. "Yeah, o-okay." Monte patted him on the back as he stood.

"Good luck, dude."

The blonde stepped quickly up the stairs, practically running down the hall to Adam's room. He knocked on the door, once, twice. No answer.

"Adam! I know you're in there! Open up! Please?" Tommy waited. Still nothing. He pulled the room key out of his pocket and slid it on the doorknob. He cracked open the heavy wooden door and walked in.

"Adam?" Tommy glanced around the empty room. He turned to look at the bathroom, debating whether or not to just open it. He took a deep breath, and pushed open the door.

Adam was sitting on the toilet lid, his pale wrist bared on his knee. In his right hand he held a razor blade, soaked in crimson blood. His wrist was mangled with cuts, and Tommy could see no scars. So this was a new thing. A sudden realization hit the blonde. Adam was hurting himself because of _him_. It was Tommy's fault.

_"It's because of me."_

Adam looked up and saw Tommy, standing there with his mouth agape and eyes teary.

_"It's my fault."_

"T-Tommy. What are you doing here? I thought you never wanted to see my ugly face again?"

_"It's because of me."_

"I-I came to apologize... Adam! Why are you doing this to yourself?" Adam had shaken his head and continued to cut. Tommy ran forward, ripping the blade out of Adam's hand -slicing his fingers in the process- and throwing it into the trashcan.

_"It's my fault."_

Adam looked Tommy straight in the eyes. "Get. Out." Tommy's face hardened.

"So what? So you can hurt yourself again? You're pathetic, Adam! And you know what? I don't love you anymore!" Tommy stormed out of the open bathroom and into the dirty hotel hallway, running to his own room. He could still hear Adam's annoying sobs next door, so he plugged in his iPod to its dock and turned up the volume. Marilyn Manson blasted through the speakers, drowning out any noise from next door. The blonde threw the closest object, his shoe, at the wall. It felt so good that he hurled everything he could find at the walls and door, tears now falling freely.

_"It's_ not _my fault. He's just weak and pathetic!"_

Tommy sat on his bed, shaking. A knock at the door startled him, and a voice called through.

"Tommy! It's Cam; can I come in?" Tommy said yes, and the door opened. The small frame of Camilla walked through the door, her eyes widening at the mess the blonde forgot about.

"What-"

"Nothing." Tommy's voice came out embarrassingly shaky. Camilla shook her head slowly, sitting on the bed next to where Tommy had flopped down.

"Doesn't seem like nothing. What's going on? There's no point in lying either, Tommy Joe Ratliff, because Monte told me about seeing you on the stairs."

"I went to go apologize, and-and Adam was in the bathroom." He whispered the next part, "He-he was... Cutting himself." As Tommy spoke, he became aware of the cuts on his fingers that were still pouring blood.

"Oh-oh my god." Camilla stared blankly at him.

"I tried to... apologize, but he just kept... doing it. I pulled the blade away -that's how I got these cuts- and threw it in the garbage. He-he told me to-to leave, and I-I exploded... I told him that-that he... was p-pathetic and that I-I didn't... I didn't... love him anymore." Tommy was crying again. Lately it seemed as though his eyes were permanently stained red. Camilla reached out and hugged him, but she didn't say anything.

_"It _is_ my fault. It's because of _me_."_

"Oh, god, Camilla! What if he's still cut- hurting himself?" Tommy threw himself off the bed and ran to the door.

"Tommy, wait! I'll go talk to him. He won't listen to you. I think it's best if you two just stay away from each other." Tommy let go of the door handle and slid down the wall, pulling his knees up to his chest.

"O-okay. I guess." Camilla ruffled Tommy's hair and walked out of the room. Soon, Tommy could hear Adam's yelling voice, but not Camilla's.

_"No! Give it back!"_ Mumbling. _"What? No, don't flush it!"_ The sound of a toilet_. "Dammit, Camilla! What the hell?" _More mumbling. _"No way! I hate him! I nev-" _Tommy plugged his ears. He knew what Adam was going to say, but hearing it would just make reality sink in.

Tommy checked his watch. 3:36. He had to be at soundcheck at four. It wouldn't do to be _too_ early, because Monte would just give him the third degree. But being late, however, was out of the question. Tommy got up and shuffled to the bathroom. At least the tears had stopped. He plugged in his headphones and turned his iPod volume way up to block out the one-sided screaming that was still going on next door.

Tommy looked in the mirror and did a double-take. God, he looked _awful_. No wonder Camilla knew he was lying! He wiped all the destroyed make-up off his face and re-did it all, but chose not to wear any lipstick. Adam had said he liked it when the blonde didn't, and- No! _Not_ thinking about that! Tommy fixed his hair and got dressed, checking the time again. 3:58. _Crap! _He ran out of the room and down to the theater, which was conveniently placed inside the hotel. He burst into the backstage area, crashing into Monte.

"Could you at least watch where you're going, dude?" Monte frowned. "Get your bass."

Tommy sprinted to his case, pulling out his lucky blue bass. The band got all set up, Camilla walking down a minute later and standing behind her keyboards. She nodded to Tommy, who smiled lightly, though it did not reach his eyes. The door opened, catching Tommy's attention, and Adam stepped through.

Tommy gasped. Adam barely looked alive. His hair hung down over his face and he had no make-up on. His clothes were rumpled and he wasn't even wearing shoes. He walked with his head down, shuffling along. Gauze was visible on his left arm, as he was wearing short sleeves.

_"I did this to him." _The realization hit Tommy like a cinder block dropped from the top of the Empire State Building. _"It's because of me." _

Adam sang the songs with no enthusiasm, no life. Except _Sleepwalker_.

_"I saw a picture of you, hanging in an empty hallway.  
I heard a voice that I knew, and I couldn't walk away,  
It took me back to the end, of everything.  
I taste it all, I taste it all, the tears, again."_

His voice was haunting, like he was singing from the bottom of his soul. And Tommy supposed he was.

_God, he had ruined everything._

**There you are! I think out of all of this, the line I like the most is: "Tommy's pain echoed off the whitewash walls and screamed back at him, amplified." I don't really know where that one came from... Anyway, Chapter Six will probably be up in three-four days. I have no idea how to start it.**


	6. Chapter 6

**I apologize for any crappiness this chapter; I have MAJOR writer's block. :P Also, sorry for the length, that's explained at the end.**

_(Two weeks later)_  
Tommy stared out the window of the jumping bus. Beautiful, green pastures sped past, and he could see purple mountains in the far-off distance. He didn't know where they were, and he didn't care. All that mattered was somehow getting Adam back. Tommy knew that everything that had happened was his fault; the fight, the mugging, Adam cutting himself...

The pastures slowly turned to houses, few and far between. Those eventually morphed to suburbs, and then a downtown. The bus finally screeched to a stop in front of a large theater. The band disembarked, and Tommy realized Adam had been in his room the entire trip. The blonde waited for him, and when the singer emerged, opened his mouth to talk. But Adam pushed past him before the disgruntled blonde could even say a word.

Tommy sighed, and followed Adam off the bus. Dozens of fans were waiting outside, their ear-splitting screams echoing off nearby buildings and assaulting Tommy's brain.

"Adam! I love-"

"Adam, will you sign-!"

"Adam, are you and Tommy ever going to get together?"

The last one made Tommy's head turn, and he frowned. The man who had asked was wearing a bright pink shirt saying _"Homophobia is Gay"_, huge black sunglasses, and had short blonde hair. Tommy didn't know why, but he got the creeps from this guy. Before he turned away, the man looked straight at him, his mouth rising into a dark smile. Tommy shuddered, and looked back to the Glamberts in front of him.  
He could still hear the people on the other side of the walkway screaming questions at Adam.

_"Can't you see he's in pain? Can't you see I caused it? Bet you don't know I'm a monster."_ Tommy took a couple of pictures, thankful that he never smiled in them anyway. He didn't know if he could handle that at the moment.

They finally got inside, and Adam ran off to his dressing room while the others wandered off to do whatever. Tommy walked over to his rack of basses and picked one up, strumming a few chords. This was where he felt at home and comfortable. He started plucking the bass line for _Aftermath_, and humming a little. He was getting really into it, when a hand on his shoulder made him jump. He looked up to see Camilla standing above him.

"Showtime," She said softly. Tommy nodded.

"Hey, are you alright?" She asked uncertainly.

_"No. I'm suffering. Help, please!"_

"Yeah." He spun his bass over his shoulder and walked toward the stage.

The show was pretty uneventful. Adam couldn't even look at Tommy during _Fever_, instead turning away from him and rolling his hips into the blonde's bass. Tommy wanted to cry. During _Sleepwalker_, Tommy was shaking so badly that he messed up a couple of times, earning a sharp look from Monte and a worried one from Camilla.

Adam only sang _Mad World_ during the encore, as he had claimed he was too tired for _Whole Lotta Love_. While Tommy was playing, he glanced out into the crowd of singing faces, happening across one that made him want to scream, though somehow he managed to stay quiet and continue playing.

_Drake._

After the show, Tommy got into his small dressing room as quickly as possible.

_"Oh god. Oh my god. Adam!"_ Tommy's eyes widened as he realized Adam didn't know that Drake was there.

_"I have to tell him!"_ The blonde rushed back out of the room, looking frantically for a sign or _something_ that would tell him where Adam was. His brown eyes fell upon a simple sign, an arrow pointing to the left and the words "Main Dressing Room". Tommy turned and ran down the hall. He skidded to a stop in front of the door, raising his hand to knock. But before he could, it opened. Adam was not the one to step out.

The man had short brown hair, and although clean-shaven, Tommy recognized him from a month ago as well as the concert. Drake. He smiled, though it wasn't a "Good to see you" smile. No, it was a "I'm going to steal everything you care about" one.

"Oh, hello, Tommy. I trust you're here to see Adam?" Tommy, for some reason, nodded.

"There's no need. He's with me again, so he doesn't want you anymore. After all, you're _just a sex toy_." Drake shifted, subtly placing his feet further apart and crossing his arms.

"No! I'm _not_ a-a... that! Adam loves me!" Drake shook his head.

"Then why was he willing to give you up so quickly? If he loved you, he would care about you. But he doesn't. He loves me. Trust me, he's forgotten all about you." Tommy teared up despite himself.

"It's not true! No, no! You're lying!" Tommy's voice was shaking, and Drake knew it.

"You don't sound so sure. Anyway, I have better places to be. Goodbye." He left quickly, before Tommy could even open his mouth. The blonde directed his attention back to the door, and pushed it open. The room was empty.

"Adam?" Tommy peered into the bathroom. He thought he saw a shape in the bathtub, and silently praying it wasn't what he thought it was, slid back the curtain.

The body of Adam Lambert lay crammed into the smooth porcelain tub, blood pooling under his head. He was -thankfully, Tommy noted- clothed, though his shirt was sticking to him, crimson liquid seeping through.

Tommy screamed.

He fell to the floor beside the tub, frantically checked Adam's wrist for a pulse.

**Thump-thump. Thump-thump. Thump-thump.**

Tommy breathed a sigh of relief, but it was short-lived, as the singer had lost a lot of blood, and it was still draining out of his unconscious body. The bassist stood, and after digging around in the medicine cabinet, held up a roll of white gauze in victory. He quickly unrolled it, wrapping the stuff first around Adam's head, and then wrapping his stomach, where thankfully the bleeding was light. Tommy didn't even notice the now-dry blood staining his white shirt. He just sat on the cold tile, holding Adam's hand and waiting for him to wake up. The blonde knew he would have major explaining to do.

**Heh heh. I feel kind of evil ending it here, but I wrote that last sentence and was just like, "Hey! That's a good ending!" But don't worry, I've already started Chapter 7. In it: Tommy **_**finally **_**explains why he freaked out when Adam cut himself, Drake makes another appearance (maybe, haven't gotten that far), and there's some fluff planned. If we get there...**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi! I got a couple PM's yesterday asking about why Tommy just let Drake leave. So my answer is that (as well as being too tired to write another fight scene) Tommy was in shock.  
Hopefully (if we get there) this chapter will explain why Tommy freaked at Adam, why Adam looks too dang thin, and why Drake is so freaking psycho. :)  
Oh! And, since you probably didn't notice, I made a change to Chapter 6. Instead of Tommy "lifting off Adam's shirt and binding his wounds", he now just binds them through the shirt.  
And, I know Tommy has no brother. It fits with the story.**

Adam groaned and slowly opened his eyes. His head was pounding, his stomach hurt too. And that's when he remembered what had happened. He tried to lift his hand to his hair, to see if he was still bleeding, but it was obstructed. Someone was holding onto his black-nailed hand. Adam looked over and saw Tommy, asleep on the hard tile floor. His first impulse was to rip his hand away, but he realized the blonde had taken care of his injuries. His heart warmed just a little.

_"Maybe he _does_ love me." _Adam sat up slowly, using his right hand on the inside lip of the tub to lever himself up. The movement seemed to wake up Tommy. He stirred a little, blinking his eyes open.

"Oh, you're up." He sounded disappointed. Adam's heart fell to the pits of hell. Tommy must've seen Adam's expression, because he quickly explained.

"No, no, just that I wanted to be awake when you woke. Oh my god, Adam! What happened? I ran into Drake on the way in, but that was," He checked his watch, "Two hours ago. Oh jeez, the band! They must be worried sick!"

"Tommy, calm down. I thought you wanted to know what happened?" Tommy nodded. "Alright then. I was sitting on the toilet lid, thinking about... things. I heard a knock on the door, and assumed it was... Anyway, I didn't open it. Two minutes later, Drake burst through it. I yelled, and he punched me in the side of the head before I could defend myself. He tied my hands," Adam showed his wrists, which were ringed with red, "And he-he touched me. I k-kicked him in the stomach, and he yelled and reached into his pocket. It-it turns out he-he had a... pocket knife. He wrote something w-with it on my s-stomach, but I don't kn-know what. Then he-he threatened me, and-and untied my hands and left."

Tommy's eyes were angry, worried, and sympathetic. "So... how did you end up in the tub?"

"I-I climbed in... I didn't want to make a mess on the floor... Oh Tommy, I thought for sure I was going to die!" Adam stopped short and looked away. "Go ahead."

Tommy was confused. "Go ahead and do what?"

"Laugh at me for being weak. Tell me I should've died. Tell me I'm pathetic. It's all true." Adam's voice broke on the last word.

Tommy's eyebrows creased. "But- why would I do that? I l-" The word stuck unpleasantly in the blonde's throat. He remembered he wasn't supposed to love Adam anymore. He swallowed heavily.

"In no way do you deserve to die. You are not pathetic, and you are not weak. Remember that." He said the words firmly.

Adam turned and looked at him sharply, with confusing emotion in his eyes. "That's not what you said two weeks ago."

Tommy cleared his throat again. "I-I didn't mean it. Do you want to know the real reason I yelled at you? Do you care?" Adam nodded slowly.

"When I was twelve, my mother died. My brother began cutting himself, because he had survived the car crash that she didn't. One day, I walked in on him doing it. I was thirteen by this time.

"There was blood everywhere. The floor, the razorblade, his wrist... He told me that what he was doing was okay, that it was to release to pain that was building up. I told him that was pathetic.

"The next week, he slipped with the blade and died from blood loss. I hadn't seen him since that day. The last thing I told him was that he was pathetic. And I hated myself for it. When I was fourteen, I started hurting myself, too. But not by cutting. At least, not that way. I would use a lighter and burn myself. And the whole time, I would tell myself that I was stupid and evil for letting my brother die.

"Anyway, when I walked in on you, it was almost like a flashback. And that word just came out. Oh, Adam. I'm so, so, so sorry." Tommy was crying silently, his voice trembling. Adam wished he could hug the broken man, but his stomach and the wall of the bathtub restricted him. Instead, he took the hand that had somehow disconnected from his own. Tommy looked up, smiling tearily.

Adam spoke. "Tommy, that is such a horrible story, I'm so sorry... Uhm, do you want to know why Drake is so freaking psychotic?" Tommy nodded a couple times.

"Well, I had been dating him for nearly a year when I got onto _Idol_. I was so busy that we never really had any 'alone time'. He-he got another... another man to occupy him. When I got back early one day, he was waiting for me, saying he had something to tell me. That's when he told me about the other man, saying that he had fallen in love with him, but still loved me as well. He asked if we could all be together, and I scoffed at him and said no. He got really angry then, throwing things at me. I realized he had been drinking. One bottle cut my cheek, and I finally reacted. I threw a bottle at him, too. It hit him in the sternum.

"He got even angrier. Don't fight fire with fire, right? He slapped me. It was the first time he had ever laid a hand on me. I ran out of the house, but he's still convinced that I love him, and I think it's because he was so drunk when it all happened, he only remembers parts, and his brain decided to make up the rest."

Tommy looked at Adam thoughtfully. "Then why does he hate me so much?"

_"Because you're gorgeous."_

"Because you have-had me, and he didn't. He doesn't."

The blonde nodded. "That makes sense... Adam? Do you still love me?"

The singer stiffened. "W-why?"

Tommy looked downhearted. "Just-just wondering."

"Well... I do." Tommy's head shot up and he grinned at Adam. Adam smiled back, and they simultaneously leaned forward to kiss. About a centimeter away, Adam gasped loudly in pain and pulled back quickly. His stomach had hit the rim of the bath ever so slightly, but now his abdomen was on fire.  
Tommy crinkled his eyebrows in concern.

"Lemme take a look at that, Adam." Adam nodded, and Tommy slowly pulled his shirt up. And gasped. The word _'bitch'_ was carved into Adam's otherwise smooth, freckled skin. Adam was craning his neck, trying to get a look around the shirt Tommy was now angling as a shield.

"What? What does it say?"

"It-it says... bitch. Oh god, Adam." Adam's chin trembled, and he started sobbing. Tommy dropped the shirt and gingerly gave him a hug, only connecting at the shoulders and upper chest.

"What am I going to do? Oh, Tommy! I can never take my shirt off again! What if it doesn't heal? What if I have a gross scar?" Tommy pulled back, lifting his left sleeve slowly. Burn marks flecked his forearm, a pinkish-silver on his pale skin. Small words were written in pen, one for each mark. Adam looked down at them.

_"Pretty. In like. Young. Happy."_ The words went on, but the second was crossed out. _"In love"_ had been written underneath. Adam realized that Tommy had been scribbling down everything he had in his life.

_"In love."_ So, Tommy still loved him? Adam blinked and looked at Tommy, who was still sitting on the white tile floor. The singer became aware of his own uncomfortable half-sitting position.

"Do you- do you want to go sit on the couch? I-I think we need to talk." Tommy nodded, and stood. His hand stuck out and clasped Adam's, gently pulling him up. A pain shot through the man's stomach, but it was more dull than the last time. He ignored it and steadied himself.

The pair walked out of the bathroom, Tommy sitting sideways at one end of the couch, his legs crossed and facing toward the middle. Adam copied him, and was thankful for the large three-seater sofa.

"So. What do you want to say?"

Adam cleared his throat. "When you yelled at me first, two weeks ago, I felt like I should hate you. But instead, I hated myself. For losing you. For loving you still, even though I knew I shouldn't. That's why I cut. You caught me doing it, and yelled at me." Tommy winced. "My heart was pulled out of my chest and stuck in a paper shredder. I thought I would never love anyone again. But then I realized that my heart -if not my brain, subconsciously- wanted you back so badly it actually ached. Like seriously _ached_.

"Do you know what hurt the most? Knowing I couldn't have you. And I hated that so much. I never want to go back to that." He broke off.

Tommy shook his head vehemently. "_Never_. Never ever."

Adam smiled.

"Uhm, Adam? Why are you so skinny?" Tommy looked pointedly at the faint outline of Adam's ribs through the grey shirt he was wearing. The singer's smile plummeted to its death. He subconsciously pulled his arms over his stomach, crossing them and looking uneasily at the blonde.

"I, uhm... kinda... didn't eat... anything. At all." He looked away, obviously fearing Tommy's reaction.

"Adam, how long has it been since you ate?" Tommy's voice was scarily calm.

"Two weeks... But I have eaten! Just not... a lot..." Tommy frowned.

"Adam! Why?" Tommy paused. "Oh my god! It's my fault!" Adam shook his head.

"No. It's not your fault. None of it is. It's Drake's." Tommy nodded.

"But... we have to get you food! Now!" The blonde stood, gesturing frantically to Adam. But he stayed sitting.

"If I eat now it'll just bloat my stomach and tear open the cuts. Sit back down." Tommy sat.

"Adam? I love you. I'm so sorry for everything."

"I love you, too. And I'm sorry for all the crap Drake and I put you through."

Neither of the men noticed the face looking through the window. The man with blonde hair and huge black sunglasses frowned and turned away.

_"This will make my job harder. The boss won't like it one bit."_ He left, his bright pink shirt the last thing to disappear into the night.

**Okay, that's the end of this chapter. Heh, heh. Sorry for the super long wait, guys! School. Bleh. -_-'**


	8. Chapter 8

**The whole passage of time is rather confusing, I think. So it's been one month and a week since the start of chapter one. That should help clear up any confusion.  
*If you're uncomfortable with yaoi lemons: never fear! I'm not going to write one. Sorry to those who do want it. (My mother reads this. )  
Oh! Hey guys, I have a LiveJournal! :D You can check it out at .com. It's **_**Everything Adommy**_**! :)**

**WARNING: This chapter is like a T++. In sexual stuff and violence. So don't read if you're squeamish with either of those.  
**  
If you had asked Tommy Ratliff a week ago if he was happy, he would have said no. But if you were persistent, and questioned him again today, you probably would have gotten a fervent nod and a small smile. Tommy loved his job, his boyfriend, and his life in general. Sure, there were some memories that he would much rather forget, but for now, all was good.

Tommy blinked his eyes open and smiled. He had a sense that today was going to be a good one. He crawled out of his bunk and slumped into the bathroom, splashing water on his face. He shook his head like a dog **(A/N: Or kitty cat...)** to clear his brain and straightened up. He pulled a dark green long-sleeve shirt and deep blue skinnies from the small bus closet.

The band had changed buses recently, so Tommy now had his own room. Not that he needed it; he was in Adam's room more than his own. Speaking of, Tommy slid open the door and tiptoed past the singer's still-slumbering body, corkscrewed into a knot on his bed. Tommy sighed. He must've had one of _those _dreams again. The dreams of Drake invading his bathroom, of tying him up... Tommy shuddered and gently pushed on the cold metal door of the bus, praying Monte had oiled it like he said he was going to. The door opened smoothly, and Tommy exhaled the breath he didn't know he had been holding. The door softly clicked behind him, and Tommy shivered, the biting cold nipping at his nose and fingers. But he had a mission to complete, so he just sucked it up, bundling his thick black hoodie with the _ACDC_ logo emblazoned on it tighter around himself.

Tommy walked quickly down the street toward where he remembered the shop being. And... There it was! The blonde grinned in triumph and pulled the heavy glass door open, stepping inside as soon as possible. A warm aroma filled the air, adding sweetly to the slight bitterness of the coffee maker behind the counter.

Tommy surveyed the options, arranged beautifully in a glass display case, and finally decided when the person behind him started tapping her foot rather loudly.

"Two of those," He said, gesturing at the merchandise, "And two of that one." The woman behind the counter nodded, packing up his purchase.

"That'll be six-fifty." Tommy nodded and paid, picking up the white paper bag. A bell singed as he left, giving him a slight ringing in his ears. The blonde walked back to their bus, getting back to his room as quietly as he had been leaving. He set the bag on his bed and dug around in a drawer for a pencil and paper. 

_Dear Adam,  
I got these for you as just a minor reminder of my love for you. I know it's not much, but I hope you enjoy.  
Love,  
Tommy_

The blonde signed it with a small flourish and set the paper next to the white bag. He slid a wooden tray out from where he had hidden it under his bed, putting the stuff inside artfully on a plate and then onto the tray. He slipped into the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee, setting it on a napkin. Tommy stopped, looking over the setup. He grinned. The blonde lifted the tray and pushed open the door with his back. He gently set the tray next to Adam's bed and shook the singer's shoulder softly.

"Huh? Wazzup?" The larger man mumbled sleepily.

Tommy laughed quietly. "I brought you something."

Adam's eyes shot open. He sat up, rubbing his face sluggishly. "Really?"

"Yes, Adam. It's right here." The singer turned and beamed.

"Ahw, Glitterbaby! That's so sweet! Donuts and coffee?" Adam leaned forward and kissed Tommy sweetly. The blonde pressed back almost eagerly, causing Adam to smile against Tommy's full lips. Tommy pushed against Adam and tangled his hands in Adam's soft hair.

The singer moaned and let one of his hands fall to just above the swell of Tommy's ass, the other resting on his cheek.

Adam flicked his tongue against Tommy's lower lip, and when the man whimpered, slid it into his mouth. Their tongues battled for dominance, with Adam winning and continuing his exploration of Tommy's mouth.

One of Tommy's hands slipped down to the hem of Adam's nightshirt, lifting it and circling his bellybutton. Adam moaned and pulled it off, barely breaking the kiss. Tommy did the same, and soon bare skin clashed.

The singer's hand slid to cup Tommy's ass, while the other slowly ran down to caress the bulge in his pants.

"Are you sure?" Adam frowned slightly against Tommy's lips. He retaliated by pressing the palm of his hand to Adam's identical, if not slightly larger, tent.

"Yes. Totally sure." Tommy smiled and looked down. "Why on earth am I still dressed?" Adam complied and unzipped Tommy's skin-tight navy blue jeans, smiling when he realized the blonde had gone commando...

xxxxxx (1)

Tommy turned to look at Adam, reveling in how beautiful the raven-haired man looked in the post-coital afterglow of their previous calorie-burning.

"Babyboy? I love you. So, so much." The larger man positively beamed.

"I love you, too, Glitterbaby."

"Oh, and Adam? You forgot your donuts." The singer's eyes, which were starting to slip closed, opened tiredly once again. He sat up, stretching his legs out in front of his and lifting the near-forgotten tray onto his lap.

Adam lifted a tasty donut to his lips, biting into it and moaning from the taste. Tommy chuckled.

"Wha?" Adam said through a full mouth.

"Nothing, I just remembered when you made that noise half an hour ago." Adam blushed.

"Shut up, and lemme eat my donut."

xxxxxx

Tommy lifted his bass, pulling the strap over his shoulder and tuning it a little. Never trust those roadies to get it right. He strummed it to Monte's guitar and walked onstage. The blonde took his place, glancing out over the crowd. He saw some good-looking guys in the front and hoped Adam wouldn't kiss any of them again. Tommy's eyes moved across the sea of faces, scanning over one that looked vaguely familiar. He thought nothing of it; lots of people followed them around the country.

The chords to Fever started, and Tommy blinked. He hadn't even realized the opening medley had finished. Oh, well. The blonde mentally shrugged and walked to the small staircase, stepping up one and hoping it would help his ridiculous height. Nope. Adam walked down, throwing his arm around Tommy, his hand coming to rest on the smaller man's chest. Tommy blushed. Adam turned jerkily and ran his offending fingers down Tommy's collarbone and to his stomach. The blonde remembered the hand taking a similar path earlier, and turned even redder. Adam's hand floated up to gently caress Tommy's chin. The blonde couldn't help but moan softly, unfortunately forgetting that the sparkly microphone Adam was holding was close enough to pick up any noises he made. The intimate sound echoed through the speakers, and for a second everyone was silent. Then, the stadium erupted in excited screaming, and Tommy hung his head in embarrassment. Adam had to keep performing, though, but seemed like he didn't want anything to do with Tommy at the moment. He skipped the next line, and just kissed the blonde. It was a forceful, almost painful kiss, and it held only minimal traces of the love Tommy had felt earlier from the singer. Before Tommy even had his bearings back, Adam was gone. Tommy wanted to cry.

xxxxxx

After the show, Tommy quickly followed the fast-moving glam singer off the stage, frowning still.

"Adam! Adam, _wait_!" The blonde called out, but he was already gone. Tommy sighed, and trudged back toward the bus. The door shut loudly behind him, and he slumped to his bed.

_"Why?"_

Tommy screamed into his pillow, feeling a bit like a teenage girl. He didn't care.

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

Tommy tried to ignore the banging at the door, but it just got louder. The blonde sniffed and pushed himself up from his small bed, pulling the door open. A partially memorable face stared back at him. The man was probably three inches taller than him, with short blonde hair and... big sunglasses... Tommy's eyes widened as he remembered the sinister face at the concert a while back. Who was this guy?

"Hello. May I come in?" His voice was cold, glacial. Tommy shook his head.

"Sorry. I'm going to have to say no." The corners of the man's mouth turned down slightly. He reached up and pushed Tommy back into his bedroom, shutting and locking the door behind him. Tommy looked at him in terror.

_"No. No, Adam, help!" _Tommy tried to scream, but his throat clenched, effectively cutting him off before he began. Instead, a feeble, "What are you going to do to me?" slipped through his teeth.

"What am I going to do? I'm going to show you a level of pain that you have never even imagined. Teach you a little... lesson." He moved forward quickly, shoving Tommy to the floor beside his wall. He kicked him as hard as he could, actually smiling when he heard bone shatter. Tommy gasped loudly, opening his mouth to try to call out again. The man quickly tore some of the smaller man's shirt and stuffed it in his mouth. Tommy recoiled at the taste of the fabric.

The man kicked Tommy again. "Get up. Now." He grabbed the front of the blonde's shirt, dragging him up against the wall. Tommy stood on a shaking leg, the other one having screamed at him when he tried to put weight on it. His head fell forward, having lost the will to fight. If Adam didn't want him anymore, why should he live?

The man dug his fingers into Tommy's hair, yanking his head back. He reared back and slapped Tommy full in the face. His neck snapped to the side with the impact, but he made no noise. What was the point? Adam didn't want him, he wasn't going to be saved. Tommy welcomed the pain.

Another slap scorched Tommy's cheek, repeating itself around the room. As if one wasn't enough. The man crushed Tommy's bare toes with his booted heel, twisting them into the ground. Tommy arched his back and screamed through the gag.

_Pain._ That was all he knew. That was all he would know. _Pain._

Tommy slumped forward. The man saw this and grabbed both of the blonde's shoulders, ramming them back against the wall. Tommy's head bumped agonizingly against the rough paint.

The man ripped out the gag. "I want to hear you scream." He kneed Tommy in the gut, causing a weak yelp to escape the blonde. The man frowned. "Not good enough. I want to hear you _scream_." He kicked Tommy's knee, where it was broken.

Tommy screamed.

"Good. Again." The word was punctuated by his hand coming down on Tommy's cheek. He yelped.

"You sicken me. Fag." The man threw Tommy to the floor and stepped on his fingers. Tommy yelled and curled up into as tight a ball as he could, what with his leg. The man laughed and disappeared.

Tommy was breathing heavily, his eyesight wavering with each intake of air. He cried out for help weakly.

None came.

Tommy gritted his teeth and uncurled his body. He _had_ to get out. He crawled to the bed and hoisted himself up with his arms. His body screamed and nearly gave out, but he managed to get up. _Barely. _The blonde stood on one leg, shakily, and limped painfully to the door. He opened it with his non-crushed hand and sort of fell through the door frame. His body made a thud, his arm landing under him. A small crunch sounded from the wrist of his injured hand. He groaned. Tommy's eyes flickered.

_"No. I've got to stay awake."_ He opened his mouth to call out.

"Adam!" His voice came out hoarse and scratchy. He cleared his throat and tried again. This time, it came out clearer and louder.

_"Adam!"_ Tommy coughed. The door opened and Tommy tilted his head painfully to see who it was. The worried face of Adam came into view. Tommy smiled faintly.

"Oh my god, Tommy! What the hell happened?" Adam ran to the injured man's side.

"There was a man... he... he wanted to come in... I said no, but he-he came in a-anyway. He-he kicked me... and-and br-broke my leg... When he left, he said something about working for Mr. LaBry. Ad-Adam? Who is that?" Adam's eyes grew wide, and his hands trembled where they held Tommy's. The blonde couldn't tell if it was from anger or fright.

"Drake." Adam's voice came out in a weak whisper. "That- that _bastard_." Tommy nodded slightly. The movement sent a screeching pain through his head, making him groan. Adam's eyebrows knit together.

"We need to get you fixed up," He said. But before he could help Tommy up, a shout came from outside the bus. Adam's head spun around, and he looked back at Tommy apologetically. He stood back up and pulled the door open. Monte was standing outside with a grim look on his face and an angry-looking man in his grip.

"I found this scum out here trying to sneak away. I grabbed him and saw that he had blood on his hands. I threatened him and he told me everything. Is Tommy okay?" The man struggled a little, and Monte's knuckles whitened with the effort of holding on to him.

Adam shook his head. "He's got a broken leg, wrist, and toes, crushed fingers, bruises on his stomach, maybe a concussion. Because of this _dirt_, Tommy's injured." Adam resisted the urge to spit in the man's face. "_And_, he's working for _Drake_." Monte nodded unhappily.

"I know. What should I do with him?"

Adam wanted to kill him more than anything. "Call the police." Monte dragged the man off. The singer hurried back inside the bus and knelt back by Tommy's side.

"Monte found him. He's going to jail, I promise."

"Good."

Adam smiled sadly, his eyes holding more pain than Tommy could bear. He looked away.

"Tommy, I love you so, so much. So what if the world knows we're dating? It gives us more freedom to do what we want, right?"

The blonde nodded. "I love you, too."

**The end of Chapter 8! I ****finally**** hit 2,500 words! :D ...Do y'all hate me? It was sooo hard to write that fight scene. And the almost-lemon was pretty awkward. Sorry, Mother. **


	9. Chapter 9

**So, so, so, so sorry for the huge-ass wait, guys! Writer's block really sucks.**

**This chapter is the very last! It also has probably unnecessary bad language and some violence. Be sure to check out my other works, namely **_**Thankful for the Bass **_**and **_**Oh, Puck**_**! Hugs and kisses!  
xxxxx**

Tommy was sitting on his bed, his bass in hand. He tuned it a little, trying to muster up enough courage.

_"Come on, I can do it. It's not difficult, right?"_ He took a deep breath, and stretched his fingers to the strings.

_Thoink._

"Dammit! This stupid freaking cast!" Tommy growled. He dropped his bass on the bed next to him and got up angrily. Limping to the door was long, tedious, and accompanied by a string of curses. The blonde looked down and sighed. At least this horrible cast on his _entire _leg blended with his clothing color-wise. But he couldn't even perform because of his wrist! The only reason Adam hadn't fired him yet was because they were dating. Tommy couldn't stand being useless. And that's exactly what he was. Just a waster-of-space. He shook his head, pulling back his sleeves. Long, jagged scars crisscrossed both arms. THIS is why he wouldn't think that way. He didn't want to go back there. Not that way.

xxxxx

"Hey, Glitterbaby! Showtime." Adam grinned at his boyfriend.

"Yep. You ready to give them everything you got?"

"Yeah! I'm so sorry you can't perform with us..." Adam frowned.

"But I've got a special surprise for you during _Fever_. Just wait."

Adam's face brightened. "Oh! You know how much I love those. Love you, Tommy." Adam kissed the top of Tommy's blond head.

xxxxx

Tommy watched the show from the side of the stage up until _Ring of Fire_. That's when he slipped back to his dressing room to retrieve Adam's surprise. He blinked for a moment at the fact that the door was open, but ignored it and walked in. He immediately wished he had paid more attention to it.

Drake was standing dead center, a small box in his hand. Tommy gasped and stopped short.

"What-what-"

"Uh-uh-uh. Shhh." Drake moved closer and side-stepped Tommy, closing and locking the door. Tommy didn't think such a simple gesture could be so terrifying.

""So, _Tommy_, what were you planning on doing with this here?" His voice was cold and harsh.

"None of your damn business! Get the hell out!" It came out strong, which Tommy was forever grateful for.

"Feisty. You won't be soon. I thought you knew Adam was mine? Therefore, this is useless." Drake tossed the little box carelessly on the carpet.

_Slap. _Drake's head snapped to the side violently. Tommy was seething.

"Mmmm. Shame, shame. And your face is so pretty." The brunette punched Tommy across the jaw in retaliation. The blonde felt a small trickle of blood run off his face and down his neck. He reared back and punched his fist straight into Drake's stomach. Or, that was his plan. Drake caught the hit and threw it back, catching Tommy in the ribs. He fell, gasping. Drake kicked his cast'd arm, shattering the plaster. Tommy shouted in pain, reaching forward with his uninjured arm to close his fingers around the small box. He took one last deep breath, and pushed himself onto his knees. Drake smirked.

"Right where you belong, toy." Tommy saw red. He stood and slapped Drake across the face again. The brunette grabbed Tommy's hand and kissed it, before easily snapping all his fingers. But he still held the box in his other hand, even as he screamed in pain. The blonde ripped his shattered cast and shattered fingers out of Drake's grasp and whipped around, unlocking and wrenching open the door.

"I'll get you!" Drake shouted. He snagged the back of Tommy's shirt as the blonde sprinted out as fast as he could with that forever damned cast on his leg, but the fabric tore and Tommy kept running. _Why in hell was no one is this stupid hallway?_

Tommy ran toward where the stage was, running out onto it, breathing heavily. The band stopped. The fans shut up. Adam shut up. The microphone fell from his grasp. Everyone froze.

Drake followed onto the stage, grabbing a fistful of Tommy's hair and pulling it back, sliding a knife lightly across his bared neck.

"Don't touch me, or he dies." The fans picked up their screaming again, but it was a terrified sound.

Adam sprang into action. Or rather, non-action.

"Drake! Let him go, now!" Adam yelled.

"I don't think so." Tommy silently threw the box toward Adam while Drake was talking. Adam bent to pick it up.

"Don't move! I'll kill him! A small drop of blood beaded on Tommy's neck and slid over his Adam's Apple into his shirt. His fractured cast accentuated his mangled and twisted finger and a bruise was already forming on his jawbone.

"I'm just picking this up, Drake. Calm down." Adam lifted the box in his palm and opened it slowly. A singe tear fell from his eye and onto the gorgeous engagement ring encased in the box. He cleared his throat and inconspicuously nodded at the four security guards hidden behind Drake. They rushed forward, one easily overpowering the brunette and taking the knife, two others grabbing Drake himself, and the fourth supporting Tommy, as he collapsed when Drake let go of him. Drake pulled at the guards and did all he could to break free, to no avail.

"Fuck you, Adam!" He snarled menacingly.

Adam just shook his head. "Take him away. I never want to see him again!" The singer ran to Tommy and hugged him gingerly.

"Adam, you have saved my life more than anyone should have to, you have stuck with me through everything, and you have taught me love. Adam Lambert, would you marry me?" Tommy grinned nervously.

"Of course!" Tommy slid the ring onto Adam's finger.

**xxxxx**

_**How about an epilogue? I've been thinking about it, but what do y'all think?**_

**OH. MY. GOD. I'm FINALLY (mostly) finished! Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed and everyone who stuck with it until the end! I love you all! **

**-Terra**


	10. Epilogue

**Epilogue starts... now:**

**xxxxx**

Their hands twisted together, wedding bands paired, mimicking their bodies. Their noses touched, their foreheads touched, their everything touched. Their hearts beat as one. They breathed as one. Sheets covered their bodies but did not separate them. They were connected with love and the aftermath of their consummation.

One was tiny, blonde. He was curled up into the side of the raven-haired one with the velvet voice.

Scars slice through the blonde one's arms, legs, body. Yet he is peaceful. The cause is gone.

The black-haired one has an undesirable word etched into his stomach, but the other's arm reaches across it, concealing it. It was given to him the same day he acquired the scar near his hairline, on his forehead.

They are awake, but silent, content to stare into each other's eyes. They are happy, as their trouble had been terminated, incarceration for life.

"Adam?" The blonde one spoke softly.

"Yes?" The raven-haired man smiled as he replied.

"I love you."

"I love you, too, Tommy. I love you, too."

_**~Fin~**_


End file.
